You've got a friend in jealousy

You don't realize how much you have invested in your friendships until there is the possiblity of losing them. Everyone has lost a friend at some point or another in their lives. For me my first lost friendship was B. She was sort of the popular girl and I emulated her. Her and I were best friends throughout my childhood. Then B discovered boys and the "popular crowd". And needless to say that friendship faded as we progressed into our teenage years. Sometimes its falling out of touch. Which seems easier to handle. Easier to deal with. Easier to get over.

I had the fortune of having more than one bestfriend. When B was no longer around I had A and N. Both have been amazing friends...each with their fair share of ups and downs. (I hang out with each separately for the most part. And when we're all together, I don't favor one over the other).


N's story.
Met when we were 5.
Mrs.F's kindergarten class.
Both best friend's with B, and both had a falling out with her. IRONY.
Became good friends when we sat next to each other in senior year Math class. I was going through my parents divorce and she had been through something similar years before. Long story short... she moved to California to be with her Marine fiance. Miss her lots.

A's story.
Met when we were 12.
Seventh grade Social Studies.
Set her up with her boyfriend of 6 years... who is no longer her boyfriend. Our friendship went through a rough time because of this guy. Not only was he boring but he HATED me.  When I had set them up I barely knew him, and he hadn't yet come to hate me. He hated me for being a BAD influence on A. Yeah Okay. If you call "bad influence" not putting up with people's shit then yes I was. Anyway... He  eventually came to end their lack luster romance over the phone from somewhere in Europe where he was vacationing. I mean I've been dumped over facebook after a month of dating but after 6 years... you'd think the guy would have a little more class. Regardless... A had missed out on having fun in college because her guy was a party pooper. Literally. So she went ape shit and made lots of friends.

So yes... as you have rightfully guessed. The bigger issue at hand is A.
I have no problem with my best friends having other friends... Hell! I made lots of new friends at college. But I will always have something special with my original best friends.

Jealousy is not something I like to admit to. It's something in the past that I had strictly associated with a particular boyfriend who was a one of a kind cheater. But I am genuinely jealous of my best friend A having a new best friend. I am 22 years old. This is absolutely ridiculous. Believe me, I know. Who cares? Well, I have known A for 10 years now, this new girl has known her for maybe a year. They do everything together and A seems to have more fun with her. It seriously bugs me when she's around because I feel like I'm competing. They post tons of stuff onto facebook about being bestfriends and inside joke stuff. It's almost vomit worthy. I have NEVER felt like this before about a friend.

The other day I came across the picture above. And it perfectly describes how I feel.  It's like she spends all her time with this new girl. When she's around it's like I don't exist. Is this some innate animal instinct I'm having? I realize how crazy and insecure it is to be jealous of my friend A's new friend. But I get entirely too pissed off about it. And when that happens I tend to address the situation like an adult and ignore it. 

Time to branch out?
Guess I need some new friends.
fuckmylife.

Until next time.
-K